Fate ? What is fate ? I dont really understand whats the true meaning or definition to this word . I know in everything i have , its just LUCKY not fate . Fate doesnt seem to exist in my life , whenever i was told that i have fate in this person , somehow it just turn out to be LUCKY. I like the word LUCKY . But i am not that lucky anymore , I am a person with nothing right now . Things have not been going smoothly anymore . Everything is not in the right place , and the worst thing is i dont know which part to fix . Its like when the best thing came out , the ugliest thing came out too . I am like an angel without wings . I feel that i have no direction throughout my life anymore , no one can help me . What is fate ? Fate is like a stab in the heart with a knife through my heart. It start to happen in the remembrance date of 5 MAY 2009 . When i start to say its Last in everything i had that day . Throughout the day , i added a last word behind it , its like throwing out everything i had . I feel depressed , sad , emotional , and that is not the usual me . Even the girl i like the most couldn't do anything about it . Parents are even hopeless too .. I dont even tell them things , how could they possibly help me ? I am feeling hopeless , its like there is nothing to keep me alive from this life. I can die anytime . Does anyone actually care about me ? NO . I am always alone . Loneliness have become the true partner of my life. I am like a river flowing without direction . I follow the pathway of the wind. Until the end of the day , decisions are not for me to make. Everything seems so difficult to understand , its like each time i try to understand something. The other thing just change dramatically . It wouldn't give me a chance to understand and interpret. Not even the slightest chance , to all my friends out there .. You all always see me as a happy go lucky person , like a person with no worries and everything seem so easy . But you guys are wrong , its like carrying a mask everyday of my life . Everything seems to be a challenge to me , everyday i woke up there is a new challenge for me . In almost every direction of my life, there is a difficult decision to make. Each challenge i made a decision already , there is always a question mark weither i am RIGHT or WRONG ? Thats why people , when you think you're RIGHT , you're actually WRONG . When you're wrong , you are defitenily WRONG. In my life , I always do assumption . My assumption is always right at least 80%. But the assumption will never be a beneficial assumption in my life. I know it will ruin my life by continueing the life like this . My teory of my life its like a clown , by giving happiness to people but unable to give it to myself .
Yours truly,
Yin.
Reference
Huisien ♥Picky Yong ♥
